


That Voice You've Always Heard

by Jesi_Ki_Kage



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, POV Second Person, Pre-Relationship, Soulmates, Soulmates Clarke Griffin/Lexa, i love how that's it's own tag, writing experiment
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2017-12-28
Packaged: 2019-02-22 22:37:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13176657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jesi_Ki_Kage/pseuds/Jesi_Ki_Kage
Summary: As you grow older the whispers come more frequently, and then slightly stronger.You wonder if it's because you and your soulmate are growing up or because of something else.By the time you're twelve you don't remember what it's like to not have a voice in the back of your head. Although you've never mentioned to anyone how sometimes the voice is in another language that you half understand from hearing it all the time. Or how none of the names your soulmate mentions are in the Ark directory.





	That Voice You've Always Heard

You know you first heard the voice when you were little.

 

You tried talking back to it even though you could barely hear what the voice was saying. That was how your parents found out actually. How they knew you had a soulmate. At age four.

From then on your bedtime stories often involved tales of soulmates finding each other and happy ever afters.

Although after each story your parents would carefully remind you that finding your soulmate was not a requirement. That not everyone did and sometimes even if you did find your soulmate you wouldn't become more than friends. To quote the way it was first explained to you: soulmates are your best friend. They can hear your thoughts and sometimes talk to you if the bond is strong enough. Sometimes that friendship can become more but sometimes it doesn't and both were okay.

As you grow older the whispers come more frequently, and then stronger.

You wonder if it's because you and your soulmate are growing up or because of something else.

By the time you're twelve you don't remember what it's like to not have a voice in the back of your head. Although you've never mentioned to anyone how sometimes the voice is in another language that you half understand from hearing it all the time. Or how none of the names your soulmate mentions are in the Ark directory.

You check.

Every year.

And that knowledge fills you with wonder and fear. 

Your soulmate isn't on the Ark, and by twelve you know that's a Big Deal. There's only two other options if they aren't on the Ark. Either they're on another spaceship - you think by now the Ark would have found them just like when the different stations came together in the first place - or they're on Earth. Both seem improbable since surely someone would have said something about it.

It isn't until you ask Wells about his voice that you realize something else. Something that makes all the difference.

Your voice is stronger then everyone else's.

Wells speaks of his being on the Ark but how he decided not to try and track them down. Wells claims the faint whispers he hears don't really give him enough to go by so he'd rather wait until they were older to try and piece together who his mate is.

At twelve you know enough to pretend you agree even if you don't.

The lessons you get second hand from your soulmate may have a hand in that.

Your parents never did figure out why you got progressively less expressive over the years.

Still.

For all the supposed strength your bond has it doesn't make it any easier to try and talk to your soulmate through it. You've tried for years. But if they hear your direct thoughts they don't respond. Any thought thought for the sole purpose of talking to your soulmate doesn't transmit. Granted, most stories claim that ability is just a myth. You wonder about it though, if the distance between you has an effect on the strength or something else.

(Something else you'll learn much, much later).

You're nearly fifteen when it happens.

You've known your soulmate had a girlfriend for a couple years now but didn't think much of it. Your parents' lessons about finding love and love not always having to be romantic are still strong inside you. So, knowing your soulmate is dating someone else doesn't matter much. Especially since you don't even live in even remotely the same place.

But when at just shy of fifteen your soulmate cries out her girlfriend's name - you know your 'mate is a female from when she'd complain in third person to herself - and it's the loudest any thought has ever been.

So loud you actually flinch in the middle of class.

You know something happened.

Something bad.

Over the next few weeks your soulmate spirals badly. You know from your medical training with your mother the signs of depression and poor grief management. You find yourself spending your days thinking over any advice you think will help.

Sometimes when you can't think of any advice you just recite to yourself your favorite story from when you were a kid.

You can tell sometimes it helps - your soulmate's thoughts quiet as though they are listening even if they never answer. Sometimes, however, there's chaos and a phrase repeated like a mantra over and over again that makes your blood boil because surely, surely your soulmate didn't come up with it on her own. Someone taught her.

_Hodnes liek kwelnes._

You hate hearing that even more than you hate when your soulmate has conversations with herself and you can only hear one half of it. It's like she's talking to someone on a headset so you can't hear what the other person says. Except she can't be talking to someone else in her head because then why aren't you talking to someone else too? Your parents had explained how poly-bonds work and you have only ever heard your one soulmate.

So, every time you heard her soulmate talking like that it makes you uncomfortable.

But that phrase makes you even more upset.

Because it means even if you make it to your soulmate, she might not let you in.

And that terrifies you.

You take comfort knowing that as much as she tries to believe it, her heart isn't fully in it or you wouldn't hear her repeat it so much.

So life goes on, until one day it almost doesn't.

But first something happens that makes you believe maybe there is a chance for you to meet after all.

Your hope is gone within days.

The incredible change that came with that hope survives.

Thrives.

You had just overheard your father confessing that the Ark was dying to your mother. Emotions overwhelmed you as panic set in. You hear your father's plea to tell the people and find a solution. You hear your mother's logic that panic would come from anything of the sort.

You don't know what to do.

You feel guilty for the quiet hope that maybe this means you'll get to go to Earth and meet your mate after all.

It's as your sitting in your room panicking that the first thought comes in. You're repeating everything you know and running every scenario you can think of when suddenly it's just there. Front and center in your mind. Replaced shortly after by another. And another.

_Breathe._

_Let it out. Process, don't dwell._

_Breathe._

You startle, you'll admit it. Yet it's wonderful that first hour to finally, finally be able to hold a proper conversation with her. But then things spiraled so, so fast and suddenly your dad was Dead and your mom let it happen and you're in lock up and-

_Breathe._

So yes, everything changed. Life goes on and you're pretty sure the only reason you stayed sane during that year in solitary was thanks to her voice in your head. Constantly running through her own thoughts when she isn't teaching you some lesson about her culture or leadership or her language - your fluent in it by the end of the year.

Neither of you ever talk about the death sentence hanging over your head with your 18th birthday.

You do talk through your emotions about your father's death and different people's probable involvement in it.

You're in the middle of a conversation about some mundane thing when the guards burst in.

As she's only getting your surprised and panicked thoughts, you don't blame her for her increasingly frantic mental shouts for a response. Once you've seen your mother though you both get your answer.

Your last thought before the drugs knock you out is how they're sending you all to Earth.

Finally.

**Author's Note:**

> This will not be continued. At least, not in 2nd POV. Idea came to me when I was supposed to be working on These Emotions and I decided to try it. It was interesting since about halfway though my brain tried to change it to 3rd person but hey, I think it turned out pretty well. Let me know your thoughts @standinshadowedsilence.


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